Friday, March 19, 2010

Whatever Makes It Happen For You

"Heroin made me walk again. You don't believe it? Let me tell you a story." Sidney was new to the support group. He was a stocky man in his late forties. His hair was beginning to turn grey but his voice was strong and clear. "I had a stroke a few years back. I was lying flat on my back in the hospital. I couldn't move the right side of my body. I couldn't speak very well. As I started to get my speech back, I kept asking for my wife. It was several days before she could understand what I was trying to tell her. Finally she got my message. I want some heroin, I told her. Now you have to understand, my wife is a churchwoman. She doesn't do drugs, she doesn't drink, and she doesn't tolerate people who do. She is my wife but she hates my addictions. I think she loves me but she doesn't like the way I live. She is a fine woman and I respect her. However, no one else came to visit me. She was the only one. I began to plead with her to get me some heroin. I begged her. I threatened her as much as a man paralyzed can do. Nothing helped. No matter how much I tried, she refused.

When she would leave the hospital, I would spend the rest of the day trying to move just one toe. it took me nearly two weeks but finally, I could move one toe. Little by little, I practiced moving that one toe, and finally, I got another toe to wiggle. By the end of three weeks, I could move my whole foot. From there and in a month, I could move my leg and then my arm. In the second month I was released from the hospital. My wife took care of me at home. Every day she was gone to her job, I forced myself to do a little more. Eventually, I could walk to the kitchen. Once I could walk to the kitchen, I could walk out the door. It was a short walk to cop some dope. I got my heroin.

I know that if it weren't for heroin, I would still be paralyzed. Of course I got arrested shortly after that but as you can plainly see, I can walk just fine. It was the heroin that made me walk. I didn't walk too far but I proved one thing. If you want to do something...anything bad enough, you can do whatever you need to do to get it."

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