Thursday, April 9, 2009

Ask An Expert

My daughter told me that someone tried to steal her bike from the garage. The bike was chained to a pole but the thief had tried to cut the chain with cutters. Apparently he was interrupted before he completed his mission.
I asked Mark. Mark is a very sweet man. He is about 42 years old. Hie is 6 feet tal with black hair and black eyes. He would be more attractive if he had a few more teeth. Nevertheless, his smile is bright and very warm. Although he doesn't have a great deal of formal education, he tries to use good grammar and refrain from cursing. He takes pride in his efforts to speak well and to behave as a gentleman. However, he also takes pride in rarely stepping away from a fight if he feels that he is being treated with a lack of respect. For example, Mark was using the phone when a gang member thought that Mark should hang up the phone and give to him. Mark took this attitude as a sign of disrespect and took out several of the intruder's teeth with the phone receiver. In any case, Mark was the terror of the Westside. "I can steal any car within 60 seconds. Forget about The Club or car alarms. They are only for amateurs. A professional can disable any of the systems in less than 10 seconds. I can spray Freon on The Club and it was crack in less than 30 seconds. Car alarms annoy the neighbors. No one cares about the car. People are so used to noise that the are angry when it wakes the up. They are not about to try to see if anyone is stealing the car. For all they know, I could be the car's owner. Alarms make money for the people who sell them. They won't stop anyone. I can get a car to a chop shop in five minutes. In less than an hour, I can have a car in pieces that look like an excellent surgeon was operating. I can dissect a car for parts on less time than it takes for a doctor to remove a wart. I am so good that it looks like the car manufacturer placed "cut on this line" for me. Now if you really want to protect your car, there is a "U" shaped lock. If you put but a good one made of hardened steel, no one is going to steal your car. Tell your daughter to remove that rear wheel, place the lock around the mainframe and the rear wheel. If she put that lock around the pole, no one is going to steal her bike. Also, there is a chain that is used to hook subway cars together. It is a little heavy but it would take a blow torch to break that. The thief would have burned up the garage before he got the chain off."
Mark is a street mechanic and a very good one. He was no business card but if you need any car repairs, he is the best around. He has given me a great deal of advice about my car. He told me what certain repairs should cost and how to know if the repairs are necessary. I have a great deal of confidence in Mark. Unfortunately he will not be available to the next three and a have years. He did recommend a friend for me to use in the meantime.