Monday, June 29, 2009

Too Expert...Or Not Too expert

"It wasn't as if I was trying to blow up the house and to kill my kids. I am not a terrorist." said John. John looked more like a freshly wrapped mummy. Most of his head, except for two large green eyes and a mouth with only one tooth, was wrapped in white gauze bandage. Both hands were similarly wrapped. "I live in a bad neighborhood and I got robbed three times. I get tired of telling the police and nothing happens. I decided to rig up a big surprise for the the next guy that tried to rob me. I got some cookies (small plastic explosives) and rigged up a device in the closet. I learned about demolitions in the army. I figured that when the thief opened the closet door, it would go off and have a real loud bang. It wouldn't hurt anyone but it would sure scare the hell out of them. It seemed like a really good idea. But then my wife started to talk me out of it. She said it was a bad idea. She said that maybe I would be drinking and forget about it. Anyway, I was going to dismantle it. As I was kneeling down, about to take off the wire, my stupid dog pushes in. I dropped the wire to push the dog away before he got hurt and the damn thing goes off in my face. You see, I expect the thief to open the door by the handle. No one would have gotten hurt. But I was right over the thing. I am lucky that I just got burned and didn't get anything blown off." John said that he learned demotions in the army. He didn't say he was any expert.

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